Medical Update

Wednesday we heard back from Misty, at Dr. Harsh's office, and I have an appointment with the Spine Surgeon, Dr. Parks on December 4th at 9 am and then an appointment with Dr. Harsh on Friday December 5th at 9 am. I will be getting information about the neck stabilization surgery during these visits. I am hoping to have the surgery just after Christmas but, before the end of the year so, I can take advantage of my deductible already being paid for the year on my insurance.

I think I will be ready physically at that time as well. I weighed myself last night and I gained 6 pounds over the last week. I now weigh 122 lbs. I'm going to keep pigging out so I can do that again this coming week too. I'll be back at 131 lbs. in no time!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us!


Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I have been feeling really good so I have been out galavanting around!

One of my first great adventures was having breakfast with Mom and Mackenzie at Deb's Grapevine Bistro, my favorite place to have breakfast and lunch in town.

Mom and I also went to the College on Tuesday to the Library Book Sale and by the Math Department. It was a lot of fun to surprise everyone and we had a good time. Then we went by Mervyns and did a bunch of Christmas shopping. I also found the perfect sheets for Steven's new "big boy" bed we picked up at Low's in town.

Here's Steven's "big boy" bed. It is a hide-a-bed chair. He thinks it is so cool to have a top secret warhawk bed. The bed was delivered yesterday and we set it all up and he slept in it in his room.

We set up the crib for Mackenzie in the room too. She's about outgrowing the cosleeper. We tried having her sleep in the room with him but she kept waking up so Mom had her finish the night in the cosleeper next to her.

Here's Mom enjoying the kids in the morning:

Here's Rob and Steven playing scuba divers:

Ann Marie brought by some toys her kids weren't into anymore. One was a baby dolly. Mackenzie loves her! She smiles at her and talks to her. She loves it when you make the dolly talk to her. We named her, Mini-Me. Can you see why?

Mackenzie has been watching and grabbing for our food for about a week. So the night before last we tried a little applesauce. She loved it!

We set up the Exersaucer for her too. She loves it!

Lots of Visitors

A little over a week ago Mom and I were getting ready for church when there was a knock at the door. It was my good friend, Chandelle. She use to be Steven's day care provider. She with her family bought a house that is no longer in our town so he had to stop going to her for day care. Steven still talks about her all the time. We were all tickled she stopped by to say hi.


Chandelle was so sweet and while I was still in the hospital she dropped off a gift certificate for my Mom to get a pedicure. She figured she could use a little pampering after weeks of taking care of both kids on her own.

Here's Chandelle, me, and my Mom.


After we got back from church we heard another knock at the door. It was one of my friends and colleagues Kevin and his son-in-law, Levi. They had dropped off some dinner for us earlier while Mom and I were at church. I didn't think I was going to get to see them but, they came back with a pie. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures I was thinking too much about dinner. It smelled sooo...good.

The next day our neighbors Rick and Joanne came by. Joanne made an apple pie. I had to take a picture of it because it was so beautiful and perfect you would think it was fake. Check it out:

On Wednesday, we had my friend Tamara and her little baby, Robbie, over for tea and girl time. Tamara also has a little boy, Drake, who is Steven's age. It was nice to have it just be us girls with the babies. That way it was easier to visit. We all had a great time!

Here's Tamara and Robbie:

Mackenzie and Robbie (Her future prom date and maybe more.)


Me, Tamara, Mackenzie, and Robbie:

My former neighbor, Leeann stopped by with goodies for everybody and her little dog, Annie.

My friend Lisa stopped by as well as my colleague and friend, Dave. I had a great time visiting with everyone.

Pam Joins the World of Blogging

My dear friend Pam, from college, has started her own blog. So we can keep up with her and Chad. Pam, Marla, and I shared a house in college. We were the Computer Science-Math Nerd house fondly referred to as the "Bentley Babes" since we lived on Bentley St. Those were the days!

Here we are dancing on the coffee table!

Reflecting and Enjoying: Coming/"Now at" Home!!!

On November 6th, I cried as we arrived home. The moment I saw the house I was overcome with emotion. I was exhausted and Steven was so excited to see Rob and I.

Here I am resting with the kids.


Mom had made our family's signature Chocolate Cake from scratch. The recipe is no longer in print. It came from an old edition, old beat up edition according to my Dad, of Betty Crocker. Steven couldn't wait to have cake.

Steven was so excited he didn't want to go to sleep that night. It is funny how one's body will eventually "take" what it needs.



Sleeping children are so angelic. Here's Mackenzie passed out in our bed after a snuggle session with her Mama.



Since I was still pretty weak at first from all the antibiotics and trips to RMH ER in the middle of night the first three nights home. I spent a lot of time in bed. Mackenzie at 5 1/2 months already loves to read. Here we are doing a little reading together.



The picture below, what I live for...

Rob's Aunt Marg and Uncle Dave sent me a lovely card and some money to buy myself some flowers. Here I am with them.

Monday November 8th Rob returned to work. He was getting his stuff together and knocked our camera off the sideboard in the dining room. It hit the hardwood floor hard. Here's his test picture to see if the camera still worked. Obviously it did! It is kind of hard to see my face but I made a silly face at Rob with my tongue sticking out. With the facial paralysis on my left side it was a pretty wicked looking face.

Saturday night was my first trip out. Mom and I went to church. It was a great uplifting mass. They sang a bunch of songs that I loved as a kid. There was "Though the Mountain May Fall" and "The Bread of Life." Here I am with Steven all fluffed and ready to go.

One day I was sitting in my chair in the living room reading an Oprah magazine Kathy had given me while Mackenzie was playing in her play-gym on the floor next to me. Mom was doing something in the kitchen. I heard a bunch of paper rustling on the floor next to me. Mackenzie had wiggled and rolled over to the magazine rack and was taking magazines out and crinking the paper. I grabbed the camera...

Mackenzie is teething like crazy. She has two on the bottom and she's getting ready to get one on top too! Of course everything is going in her mouth.

This is what life is all about. I feel like I died and am now in heaven (though I'm very glad I am not really dead). Maybe, this is heaven on earth is a better way to put how I feel.

Six

My Auntie Diane tagged me. In the spirit of family and friendship I am playing and tagging others. Here are the official rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Post the rules on your blog

3. Write 6 random things about yourself

4. Tag 6-ish people at the end of your post. I only have one other friend with a blog that hasn't already been tagged so that's why you will see only one tag at the end of my blog. It isn't that I have gone off my rocker and forgotten how to count :)

5. Let each person know he/she has been tagged.

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six Random Things About Me:

1. I was very involved in FFA in high school

2. I raised 4 market steers (one that our FFA Chapter donate the proceeds to charity), three market lambs, seved as Treasurer and VP, and showed horses while in FFA.

3. My senior year in high school I was my high school's FFA Sweetheart.

4. I competed for Sonoma County Fair FFA Sweetheart and won.

5. There's a part of me that has always wanted to live off the grid and be totally self sufficient. Raise own livestock, hunt, and fish for all my meat. Grow my own vegetables. Build and make all our furniture, clothing, and linens. I guess kind of like the Amish but, without those dresses and caps they wear.

6. After the presidential election this year I think the group who is most discriminated against and who's inequity needs to be addressed most is those of women. Both Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin were treated differently and in sexist ways. Ladies that glass ceiling has cracks but, people barely hear us trying to break through. Let's all push and punch and shatter that ceiling once and for all in the next few years. I want that glass ceiling gone by the time Mackenzie is a grown woman.

Okay, Marla speak up! You have been tagged!

Reflecting Back Part 4: Back at Stanford with Meningitis

Here I am resting in my room back at Stanford. The private room this time was nice. They brought a little cot in for Rob who was able to stay with me for the entire 2 weeks. If you recall from earlier posts it was kind of like a second honeymoon. We hadn't spent that much time alone together since before Steven was born. We joked around and began referring to Stanford as "Club Med."

Here's one of my nurses Julie. She was a kick in the pants. She is the one Steven said, "Your Dad's an idiot." This is also the hallway I exercised on when I started to be able to walk without feeling sick or dizzy.

Back in Fortuna Mom took care of both kids. Here's some photos of their adventures.

Steven on Halloween:

Mackenzie as Cinderella:

Out trick or treating at the downtown businesses with friends:


Next Reflecting and Enjoying: Coming/"Now at" Home!!!!

Reflecting Back Part 3 - Recovering in a motel

There's not a lot to tell or share at this part. Thanks to Auntie Diane doing posts and sharing her laptop with me. Here's a few pictures that you may not have seen.

Auntie Diane bonding with her great-neice Mackenzie:


It was a little hard for Mackenzie to fall asleep at night and nap with all four of us girls in a little motel room. I think it was Mom or maybe Auntie Diane that thought of creating Mackenzie's own little room in the motel closet. Hey, whatever works!


Next, Part 4, Major Setback - Meningitis- Back at Stanford

Reflecting Back Part 2 - Tumor Surgery

On October 8th I went in for surgery. If I remember right the surgery was 14 hours long. Here's our dear friend Kathy and Steven in the waiting room together.

As you know from Auntie Diane's previous posts everyone didn't spend the whole 14 hours at the hospital. Here's some photos from the motel while I was in surgery and during my initial recovery at the hospital.

Steven a true "Humboldt Boy" with his tie-dye shirt.

Super Model Mackenzie:

Steven and Mackenzie bonding over "sucking fists":


Steven with Grandpa (my Dad), Iowa Grandpa according to Steven, by the pool.

Steven and Mackenzie. Is he a proud big brother or what!

Here I am in the hospital recovering after surgery:

Here I am on my discharge day just shy of a week post op:

Next posting - A few pictures from my "motel recovery."

Reflecting Back-Part 1

I think I have definitely turned the corner. No more nausea, no indigestion in the last 24 hours, and getting more energy. Yesterday I even walked with Mom and the kids a couple blocks to the mailbox to mail bills. It was sunny and it was nice to be outside. We even stopped briefly at the pet store to visit with the animals for a bit. I still have occasional anxiety attacks. For example, yesterday morning about 5-10 minutes after Rob left for work there was a flurry of sirens that lasted for quite a bit. We live not far from the police department and it sounded to me like they were going to the highway. Of course, my mind quickly jumped to something happening to Rob. I literally jumped from my chair and snatched the phone. My hand was shaking wildly as I called Rob's cell. He answered and said calmly he was fine. I stopped shaking a bit after we talked but I still had disturbing trembling. I had to take one of my fast acting anxiety pills. But, on the plus side I was able to watch a TLC show about a woman going through gastric bypass surgery. She had all kinds of complications and was hospitalized for 6 months! I didn't watch her surgery (I covered my eyes) but I was able to listen to all the sounds and not freak out. I wasn't able to see anything medical without freaking out so, I am making progress on the PTSD front.

I've started to upload and look at all the pictures Mom and Rob took during the last month and a half. So here's the first installment of the last month and a half in pictures:

Here I am on Oct. 7th getting ready to pump before my angiogram.

After being given a chance to pump in a private room and being prepped a bit. I was put in a bed and had to wait, wait, and wait some more for my name to be called. There was some complications with the guy in front of me. My angiogram was really long as well since the tumor was so big and the balloon test required them to wait and watch my vitals for a while. They also gave me meds to drop my blood pressure and did the balloon test again to make sure my brain could handle the loss of my carotid artery should they have needed to take it during surgery (Recall they ended up not having to). They had trouble finding a med that would drop my blood pressure. I know they tried at least two different meds. But, if I recall it was a third one that finally worked.

I was exhausted afterwards since I had not eaten since midnight the night before. I was feeling really icky in the recovery area when a harp player came in to play music. The music was so calming and beautiful I cried. Here she is playing:

It was like 7 pm by the time I was checked into my room to sleep in preparation for the big day. Next post, surgery day in pictures.

Slowly Getting Back on My Feet

My homecoming was emotional and wonderful, better than I even imagined. I know I am in the right place. There's been many pictures taken since this adventure began that haven't been shared yet. As I feel up to it I'll post them. I am enjoying all the special gadget furniture I inherited from my Nana and Grandpa when they passed away. I have a recliner in the living room with a lift and an adjustable bed which we recently added tempurpedic mattresses to. I couldn't imagine having to recover without them.

Well if you've been checking "Diane's World" you know I have had a few setbacks. Dr. Monfared told me in the hospital that recovery is not linear but, cyclical with ups and downs. I guess that means if I had someone charting my good and bad days I could eventually model it with a sine or cosine wave when I felt better. I think I would find it is being multiplied by a damping factor. My guess would be (1/e)^x. Okay, I'll stop with the math humor. I'm just so excited my mind is coming back.

My doctor perscribed some anti-anxiety drugs for me to use. I just need them temporarily until I get stronger physically. So much has happened I think my mind finally got overwhelmed. As I get more like myself I think I'll be able to get off the anti-anxiety meds. Talking with my Mom, Rob, and all those I have seen at the doctors offices/emergency room, home visitors, along with everyones thoughts and prayers, is pulling me through my little bout with PTSD at lightning speed. Thank you to all of you.

Right now I am obviously feeling pretty good. I ate a little PB and J, Mac N' Cheese, and drank an Ensure, 7-up, and some water today. I held them all down. I also slept a lot today so that is why I am up blogging at 11 pm. My circadian rythms are all messed up. It doesn't help that we still haven't change the times on all the clocks in the house and one of the clocks I just discovered has a dying battery so even though I corrected the time yesterday it is already 2 hours off :)

Okay I'm starting to sound like an old person talking about what I ate all day. If I don't stop now I'll probably start talking about bowel movements and that would be too much information.

Good Night

Happy Birthday Rob!

Happy Birthday to Rob, Happy Birthday to Rob, Happy Birthday to RRR-O-OB, Happy Birthday to Rob!

What a day! I woke up feeling great and am eagerly awaiting breakfast. I've got my clothes all picked out for the ride home. I'm so excited to be heading home!

I am very grateful to all my nurses and doctors. I've met and been touched by some amazing people here. Thank you Kathy for coming and visiting me each day. Thank you for my Jamba Juice, sharing your magazines, and suduko. I'll miss seeing you everyday.

Oh, happy day!

Preparation Day

Well yesterday passed and this morning I had no hot flashes at 5 am. I did have a little indigestion thats for the most part gone. I did need to take some meds for that. I think breakfast just comes a little too late for me. The nurses are getting me some crackers to have on hand in the morning to munch on before breakfast.

I was just visited by my angel nursing assistant, Ery. He isn't my nursing assistant today but he stopped by to say hi. While here this time I was able to share that my Dad always called me Erry Berry. He thought that was neat. I've gotten a chance to get to know many of the nursing staff and I will never forget them.

I am happy to say that I am coming home tomorrow!!! Rob will bw driving me but, I think I am up for it. I sit up much of the day awake, have been getting out of bed on my own, and am walking the hall three times a day. We are going to be leaving early tomorrow so that I will only miss one dose of one IV antibiotic. The home nurse will then get me all hooked up at the house. I think we will be just fine. Tomorrow is Rob's birthday and he said he can think of no greater present. What a sweetheart.

Going home tomorrow and the election last night overwhelms me with joy.

Weird Day

Thank you everyone for all your comments. It is nice to be able to hear from everyone online. My voice is very weak so talking on the phone is not very practical. I use what little voice I have to talk with the kids.

Well today has just been a strange day. I have been having some trouble with nausea every morning starting at 5 am. It tends to coincide with many frequent trips to the restroom and includes a series of hot flashes and a general feeling of leaning to the right. After many trips to the restroom and some anti nausea medicine I usually feel alright by breakfast. I can't wait to get off all these antibiotics out of my system. I finish them on the 11th.

Today, Mom and I talked on the phone just after she took Steven to school. Mackenzie was particularly chatty. I had resigned to the fact that I would not be able to breastfeed Mackenzie since supposedly without stimulation your breasts stop producing milk and I haven't been strong enough to do pumping for over a week but, within an hour Mother Nature suddenly decided otherwise.

I worked with the physical therapist today and actually walked down the hall without holding onto anyone! She also worked with me on the stairs a little. I think I may be able to finally go to the restroom on my own! Aah, independence!

I did get to do a little teaching today. Patty, one of my nursing assistants, is preparing for her math test tomorrow. She was getting a little hung up on the distance formula and we talked about the formula, did a few problems, and she realized she actually has it. She just needs to remember to follow the order of operations. I encouraged her, as I do with my students, to use mathematical notation properly to keep herself straight. It was nice to actually help someone and not just depend on people for everything.

Rob and our case worker have been working with Blue Cross and it looks like I may be heading home tomorrow or Thursday with a home nurse. I guess Blue Cross does not have any contracts with skilled nursing or home nursing care up where we are. So, a contract has had to be worked out. I am getting more independent and I am a little scared to be away from Rob with my voice so weak so, a home care nurse sounds best to me.

Once we get home we need to check into when my appointment with Dr. Parks will be. Dr. Parks is the spine stabilization guy. They want me to meet with him in a couple of weeks once I am a little stronger to plan for the spine stabilization. The spine surgery isn't suppose to be as big a deal as the tumor. I'll cross that bridge when it is time. I guess when they do the spine they will do a temporary enhancement of my vocal cord (injection) before I leave the hospital and then do the permanent enhancement once I have full recovered.

A slow process but, I am grateful.

Today

Well today was kind of a lazy day. Last night I fell asleep on my own even though transport came for my CT scan at 10 pm. The two guys who wheeled me down and stuff were characters. I guess they do MRI and CT scans all night. On a typical night they do 15 a night. I have felt kind of tired today and I took a nap today.

Rob and I are going to watch the Steeler game tonight. He just talked with his Mom and Joan is doing really well. Her stomach hasn't felt this good for a while. We are so grateful.

Rob got the name of a skilled nursing facility in Fortuna from his colleagues at work and our case worker has been in contact with them. Hopefully we will know more tomorrow about when I will be transported up there. We were relieved to hear that Rob will not have to drive me up there. We couldn't imagine making the long drive while staying on my IV meds. I'll probably be the youngest person there but I don't care. I just want to be able to see and touch my family.

I love all you guys and feel so grateful to have such great friends and family. Thank you for all your support for me and my family.

Awe, dinner calls!

Hello From Stanford!

I have spent a lot of the morning catching up on all my favorite blogs. Thank you Auntie Diane for keeping everyone in the loop as well as providing inspiration. Thank you Stan and Eileen for the beautiful irises. It is amazing how in this day and age of technology how a gift can be enjoyed by many. I also want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. I truely feel the love and support. I know Rob does as well. We talked a lot last night about just how blessed we are in this life.

We also realized we hadn't spent this much time, just the two of us, for years. We joked about it being our second honeymoon. Though helping your spouse take care of basic hygiene and other stuff isn't usually apart of a second honeymoon. Rob's upbeat, relax attitude and unflinching dedication and expression of love inspires me and has reminded me why I fell in love with him.

Rob is off at the laundry mat and I am eagerly awaiting lunch which should be arriving soon. I ate all my breakfast. Scrambled eggs, potatoes, cream of wheat, hot chocolate, and a milk.

I am scheduled to have another CT scan today. I guess there was a little air pocket that showed up before that they just want to check up on. My white blood cells are still up a little but stable. They are pretty sure that is from the decadron steriod I am on. I am being weaned off of it so they are expecting my count will fall once it is stopped.

Tomorrow I should know more about where I am going next and when. I just can't wait to see my kids. It is so hard not seeing them. I feel like I am missing out on so much especially when it comes to bonding with Mackenzie. But, I'll be caring for my babies soon and I couldn't have a better "Nanny" standing in for me. Mom, you are a wonderful mother and I learned to be the Mom I am from you. Looking at the bright side I see Steven and Mackenzie building a very special bond with their Grammy because of this.

Lunch just arrived so I better get back to work on my recovery.