From Stanford

I saw Dr. Parks this morning. It was not the great news I was hoping for. I must have misunderstood him or he did not know the complexities of my case when I originally asked him questions.

He wants me to wear my hard collar still for another two months. I come back in two months, three months post-op, for a CT scan. He said we will see then about putting me in a soft collar.

He also does not want me to lift too much. I asked him about picking up Mackenzie. I told him she's probably 17 lbs now (16.5 lbs a bit ago) and he and the other doctor said, "Oh, no, no." They were almost in concert. He saw my face and said I could occasionally pick her up. But, no carrying around or swinging in my arms. He stressed we are waiting for the bone to fuse nice and strong. He said you don't want to start pulling on muscles that might throw everything off. I told him I just wanted to start building my endurance and strength back up. He said, I'm not at that point yet. I am still in the healing phase. I was a little bummed out. I want to start doing!! I looked at my list of questions I brought and said, "I guess in terms of exercise that just means walking." His reply was unfortunately what I expected, "Yes." Truthfully, I'm not sure what all I could do anyways or for how long but, I wanted to get the okay to start trying. The one thing I know is that you never get anywhere without trying. I'll do as I'm told. I don't want to screw things up and have things take even longer to heal. I'm just not a "take-it-easy" kind of gal. I thought the recovery part was going to be pretty much behind me now and it was going to be time to start reclaiming my life back but, I was wrong.

I asked about working. He said, he would rather I not for now if I don't have to. He understands the realities of the economy and if I really have to because I risk being laid-off or something we'd have to find a way to make it work. He said let's see once you have CT scan in two more months. I have good disability and my job is secure so I handed him the update forms to fill out. He also does not want me to have the vocal cord fix until at least 6 months post-op. I'm going to look more into the voice therapy now and look into having a mic to teach my class this summer and maybe into the fall semester. I went down and had an x-ray afterwards. I guess I'll just have to call or email and find out how it looked.

Rob knew I was bummed. I didn't have to say anything. He took me to sushi for lunch where the little boats go around and around and you just pull the things off you want. It was fun and good. I craved a chocolate old fashioned donut afterwards (comfort food). I remembered there is a Happy Donut shop across from the hotel. I ordered two because I thought I might need another one later and they looked good. The lady behind the counter, we think she was the owner or manager, said she was sorry I had to be in the neck collar. She said she knows what it is like since she went through a neck fusion surgery a few years ago. She was in a collar for 6 months. She said the first year after the surgery was hard and she wondered whether she should have done it. She said you also have to get use to not wearing a collar once it comes off. But, after that she said she has felt better than new and no pain at all. She said, I feel for you and know your pain. Just know you'll be glad in the long run. It was nice to run into her and it cheered me up a little more. When we got back to the room I had three chocolate old fashions in the bag instead of just two. What a nice lady.

Since my appointment this morning, I have been trying to figure out how I could take care of Mackenzie myself without lifting her much so Mom could go home. I am going to email Dr. Parks about pushing her in a stroller. If I can do that I can move her around when I needed to. I wouldn't have to lift her very high or twist and turn while I did it. Rob would take Steven to school and pick him up so I wouldn't have to worry about driving. I definitely couldn't get her in her carseat and in the car myself. That is a feat even when you are "well." I have people to call if I really needed to drive somewhere. Mom has already sacrificed so much being out here 5 months so far. We were originally thinking she would fly back with Dad on March 7th after his two week visit coming up. Now we aren't sure what to do. We are brainstorming ideas. I know we will come up with something. Where there's a will there's a way.